When it comes to spending money on any product–I am a top-notch researcher. I spend endless hours till I am satisfied knowing my expectations will be met (I am not cheap– just fiscally conservative). Unfortunately, likely due to my excitement of being on vacation in Florida, I decided to attend The Holy Land. Yes, this confessionally reformed baptist took a voyage to TBN’s “Holy-Land”. Before you launch your stones at ninety miles an hour, hear me out. I had no idea the Holy Land attraction was owned by TBN (I live in a cave). I didn’t even know what the attractions were, other than knowing they reenacted stories from scripture. I learned of TBN’s ownership the night before and despite the warnings, I decided to visit.
As we were about to pay for two tickets, priced at forty dollars each, there was a large “no refund” sign in bold. That should have been enough to tell me to head back to the resort, jump in my dolphin designed swim trunks, and enjoy the sun. But my stubbornness got the best of me, and I walked the plank.
You know those wild west movies, when they show the middle of the town, and there is not a soul in sight– that’s exactly what it was like walking in. It was empty. But not so far away, there was some contemporary Christian music playing, so we headed towards the ruckus, and saw some morning worship. Didn’t stay very long, as it was very charismatic-y. At the confused book store, it was filled with your typical dispensational left behind junk, and some J.C Ryle and Spurgeon gems. We headed toward the “Scriptorium”, and found it to be the best part of the park. It’s a “journey” that allows you to see some early manuscripts. They move through church history, highlighting Tyndale’s print shop, John Bunyan’s jail cell, Spurgeon’s preaching, and Calvin’s Geneva bible. At the end of this journey, they rightly ask, “what are you doing with God’s word?”, and it ended with a faithful gospel presentation.
They had a restaurant where people can eat. I chose to eat at the food stand outside, and ordered some Chick-Fil-A (it was inexpensive). The dramas at the “church of all nations” were…okay. Nothing special. I was blessed by a drama that highlighted God forgiving David after his shameful act of taking Bathsheba and killing Uriah the Hittite. After this play, they had a charismatic preacher tarnish the message by promising a year of prosperity. Little did I hear, as I chose to skip the charismania, and walk around. The rest was pathetic. The children’s area was tiny.
All in all–it’s like burning money. Save your money, and take your kids to Discovery Cove. Its also located in Orlando, and its a day full of fun.
The problem with “The Holy Land”, is not with its cheap attractions, and mediocre dramas. I’m sure there are people who love the place. The problem lies else where, first with its glorification of images, which is a second commandment violation, and its false and contradicting messages.
R.C Sproul and me.